~~Welcoming Hell~~

It is July. N I hate july. It hurts me so much. It did cut me deep. Left a horrible scar to be remembered. Im bleeding to death. Oh...it is july. Something that bring me back to those memories. Thanks for the gift. The one that I wont ever forget.

Im lying when I said it is going to be alright. I am lying when I said Im ok!. That is not the fact. It is not the case. The truth is, Im still could not stop from thinking about U. Everything bout U. The way U smile, the way U act...it still hunt me down. Still. Gosh...Im dying because of it.

Another 19 days to go. What I need is a little perseverance. Maybe a bit luck. Arghhh....I dont have ideas on what should I do. What should I do? Tell me what should I do... I dont have strength to face it. Im drifting away far from fantasy.

I did tried everything to throw it away from me theoretically. For a while, I had inner peace. But all the sudden, it vanish. I realized that my life would not be the same. Thanks for the pain. It is like... Im lost while playing my role in the drama of reality. Oh no, it is coming...for real...oh July...